Yesterday, at the first home football game of the season, and before he fell asleep on my lap, Sawyer declared that it had been the best day of his “new life.” He’s been talking a lot about his “new life” versus his “old life,” which I find quite interesting and deep for a five year old person. The fact is that this change, this move, this new school experience and this separation-from-Mama world has been so dramatic and so different that he can’t think of any other way to describe it except that was then (two weeks ago) and this is now. A whole new thing.
Thankfully, he loves his new life. If he were miserable in this different existence, I would be ten times more miserable than him. I once heard Beth Moore say that a mother is only as happy as her saddest child. I think that is 100% true. But, praise God, he is happy, Adelade is happy, and Emerald is happy here so their mama is happy, too.
The more Sawyer talks about this new life, the more I stop to consider how much has really changed. The truth is that Sawyer has experienced more change than anyone else in the family. His life is truly radically different. He doesn’t see the same people, go the same places, he doesn’t stay home with Emerald and me, he doesn’t play alone, he doesn’t sleep as much, he doesn’t eat the same food, he doesn’t think the same way. He is a new man, so to speak. I’ve seen him confidently stride into the cafeteria at school, coolly walk up to new friends and strike up conversations, and enthusiastically sing songs he learned from “the great singer,” his kindergarten teacher. I’ve watched him drag himself out of bed in the mornings as he is still adjusting to the new schedule. I’ve listened to his stories about kids at school, and I can’t tell if they’re true or imagined. I’ve heard him remind Adelade of the library rules, much to her annoyance. He is changed. He is flourishing. He is getting big. And, before all of these changes took place, he had no idea that all this world was out there. He was happily playing at home while all this fun and greatness was going on. He didn’t even know what he was missing.
Every time Sawyer’s new life comes up, my brain immediately goes to a verse that I learned as a child. 2 Corinthians 5:17:
Now we look inside, and what we see is that anyone united with the Messiah gets a fresh start, is created new.
The old life is gone; a new life begins! Look at it!
Yes, look at it. Because everyone is looking. At our new lives. At our commitment to the One who saved us. At the ways that we have changed, the new approach we take to everything. If we imagine that they aren’t we’re fooling ourselves. What we do and say and our attitudes and even our thoughts really do matter. We should have a new life, as new and as radically different as Sawyer’s. Not because we have moved to a new town or started school or got new friends, but because Christ is real and alive and is working in our lives.
People should be able to look at us and say, Yes, I see it. I see the difference. I see Christ.
This is just another way that living with the children God gave me has convicted my spirit, spoken to my soul, and burned truth into my heart. Sawyer’s new life isn’t about His Savior yet. But, it’s a reminder that my new life should be just as dramatically different. Blessing just doesn’t seem like a sufficient description of these babes who teach me so much.
I am new. New life. Let the singing and the story-telling and the sleepy-eyed mornings remind me of it. And may Sawyer’s new life continue to make him smile.
Me, too.
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